You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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