U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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