He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
