i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
