It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
