Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
