Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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