She's JV to your varsity
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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