I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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