i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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