Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just invented taco cereal.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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