Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
