if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
