dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
