why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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