I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
