I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
