We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
