i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
