ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want nice things and good sex
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize