you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
