So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
