I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
