Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize