I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
