Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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