We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
