He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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