So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
