if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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