I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
