Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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