She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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