you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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