There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He passed out mid-signature
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
