so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
