Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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