if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
