Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
