when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
