He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
