After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
