the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize