rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
