Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize