So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
