I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
