kristin has been a bad kristin
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
