Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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