absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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