Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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