I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize