hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
