Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
