Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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