cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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