The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
