The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize