Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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