Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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