what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
