Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
