So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
