is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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