This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
