i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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