I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
