I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
