I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
