i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
