it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
