Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
