He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I love you. Go after that dick
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