I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
