im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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