I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
