he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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