Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
His hands were made for my vagina.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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