Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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