I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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