Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry dreklo86 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think

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(207): View more from Maine

Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

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(714): View more from California

He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.

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(540): View more from Virginia

come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol

(540): View more from Virginia

its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now

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(419): View more from Ohio

I have dibs on his crisis of faith.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.

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(206): View more from Washington

Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us

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